Although we are often fed the idea that relationships end for dramatic reasons, more often than not, a major relationship killer is becoming to complacent.

When a person becomes complacent in a relationship they bring the minimal level of effort to the dynamic and feel like they don’t need to put in the same amount of work as they did in the beginning.

This internalized belief can slowly bring a relationship to an upsetting and unsatisfying end.

Even among people who are deeply in love or have been together for decades, complacency can happen and gnaw a hole in a once great bond.

In this article, we will explore some of the more common reasons that people end up feeling complacent in relationships and tips you can use to help prevent your relationship from falling victim.

Things Are Too Comfortable

Comfort is supposed to be a good thing, but too much of any good thing is inevitably bad.

You should always feel comfortable with your partner. However, getting too comfortable can subconsciously guide you down a road that leads you to becoming complacent in your relationship.

Sometimes, getting too comfortable with what you have in your life can lead you to become bored with it or to value it less.

The strongest relationships support growth, change, and continuous communication–three things that can balance comfort levels in a relationship dynamic.

Someone Feels Unappreciated

A lack of appreciation is frustrating at first, but with time, it turns into a lot of internalized resentment.

When someone feels unappreciated, they will be more likely to emotionally check out of a relationship.

Ultimately, this is because they will feel like what they do does not matter and will never be enough.

This feeling can influence someone in a relationship to just stop trying, and that is how complacency happens.

The Relationship Lacks Passion

There is more to a strong relationship than passion, even though passion often ignites the flames of a romantic connection.

A good relationship should never just be based on passion, and it is important to know that passion can swing both ways in dating and marriage.

However, having no passion in a relationship can absolutely damage the connection shared between partners.

When passion fades, it is easy to get complacent when the reality is that it is a time when you need to put in more work.

Problems with Prioritization

Life is a mysterious experience that can lead us to countless high-priority interactions.

From managing work to caring for children or maintaining hobbies, there are a lot of time-consuming factors in the average person’s life.

Each of these focuses takes work–but relationships take work too.

When partners start prioritizing everything else over their relationship or marriage, complacency strikes hard and fast.

Relationships need care, energy, interaction, and adaptation to succeed. If you want it to work, you have to put in the work.

Romanticizing Greener Pastures

Complacency can develop when partners start to see something that they want more.

When faced with the idea of something more desirable, it is common to get complacent with what you have.

While it is easy to see how an inappropriate crush or cheating can cause this, it isn’t always that extreme.

Sometimes, it is watching movies that make your relationship seem worse or scrolling through too many unrealistic expectations and sexual content online.

All it takes is the thought of wanting something else to forget about appreciating what you have.

How to Prevent or Overcome Relationship Complacency

• Never Stop Complimenting Your Partner. Regardless of how long you have been together, always take a second to compliment your significant other. Small gestures can go a long way.

• Do Not Let Intimacy Die. This is usually one of the first signs that complacency is creeping into your relationship. Try creating a routine date night, time alone at home watching television, or anything just you two can do together.

• Never Stop Dating Your Partner. We all know life gets busy when you both have careers, kiddos, and a social life. But don’t let what you’ve built fall to the waist side because you have become busy. Take your partner to their favorite restaurant, show, shop, etc. Never stop dating.

• Try New Activities Together. As we grow, we change. There may be things that you want to try that your partner may also want to try, but neither of you have brought it up. Sit down, talk, and discover new vacation spots, new hobbies, and new events to attend. The key word is new. New things, new you.

• Spend Time Apart. Time apart can be a two-sided sword, but when spent appropriately, it can be very beneficial to a relationship. You don’t want time apart emotionally. You want to physically separate into your social lives for a few hours or a day, then sit down and have an intimate conversation about what you did.

• Surprise Your Partner. Everyone doesn’t like surprises, but everyone loves the effort and the gesture it embodies. Occasionally surprise your partner. It doesn’t have to be a $5k vacation or anything expensive. If you know your partner, you know the little things that would put a big smile on their face.

• Saying I Love You. These three words are powerful, but over the span of a relationship they lose their punch because they are said out of routine. Try looking into your partner’s eyes and whispering these three words the same way you did in the beginning of your relationship.
  

Conclusion

Whether you are in your first year of dating or you have been in a loving marriage for a decade, complacency is always a risk.

In fact, many healthy relationships result in feelings of complacency–and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Looking at complacency like a warning light instead of the end of a relationship can give you a chance to communicate with your partner and build a strong relationship that you both feel good about.